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The Return of the King Charlotte

It was Leon’s turn to pick, and he picked a fan favorite: Clockwork Wars. I think we all really like Clockwork Wars, but Leon really REALLY likes it because he mostly wins. Mostly.

Clockwork Wars box

Steve had only played once, so Workman and Leon reviewed the rules with him while I randomized the board. (Note to self: do not randomize the board again, Charlotte. Like never again. Never ever. Are you listening? Nothing good ever comes from you randomizing boards. Nothing. Ever. Never.)

I was the Rhinochs. I had not been exploding rhinoceroses before, either in this game, or in life. This was all new. Workman was the Trogs (the faction I always want to be but seldom get to be), Leon was the Mongrels, and Steve was the Humans (Humans? Is that right? The red faction with the Hunter unique. Are they Humans?)


What say we go blow some shit up, brah?

My side of the board sucked ass. I mean, I had plenty of lakes and forests, but I had one village. ONE. And not another one anywhere else I could reasonably get to. I had one research tile. ONE. An aggressive ass like Workman could probably have made that work, I am neither aggressive nor an ass, so I was expecting failure from the get go. I never recruited more than six workers a turn, and I never got any IP. (The Bastards took the IP I got at the start of the game.)

Randomised board

Who randomized the board? Sad!

The first round went well for me. I scored the hell out of my lakes and forests. And the second round went better than I expected. I was still in the lead after both scoring rounds, but Workman was right behind me, and was literally (not literally) dripping IP. In the final round, Steve took two of my scoring tiles, but I took two of Workman’s, so it was a wash. But Workman had so many freaking IP, he blew past me on the scoring track and won by a mile. Leon and I tied for second, and Steve brought up the rear.

Clockwork shutout

Workman’s Clockwork shutout has ended. Oh, the humanity.

Despite a shitty board state and a lackluster play, I still really dig this game. PSA for fans: the designer has a new game coming to Kickstarter later this month (I think) called Infamous. Be ready.

After the main event, we played HMS Dolores, the prisoner’s dilemma game. We’d played once before.

H.M.S. Dolores box

It went as peacefully as you might expect. Leon and I played nice, until I screwed him and probably cost him the game. Oopsies.

Leon's booty

Leon’s booty

There was a lot of profanity and then Workman won. I think I was second? Might have been Steve. I can’t remember. I remember Leon was pissed though. I do remember that.

Steve and Workman

Steve and Leon

After two Workman wins, he was spouting off about winning the Triple Crown as we went into our normal final game of the night, Love Letter. Too bad he came up lame at the Belmont and I took home the win. You read that right: King Charlotte has returned. All hail me.

With the crown rightfully back atop my head, we called it an evening. GGN. (Good Game Night. This is a thing I may start saying. You’ve been warned.)

Thanks for reading, and happy gaming!