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Rocking the Cradle of Civilization

Steve picked tonight, and he went with Tigris & Euphrates. What can one say to introduce such a paragon of board gaming excellence? Where does one start to describe this Knizian triumph of game design and the color beige? I'll start here:

Meh.

Tigris & Euphrates box

It's not that I don't like T&E. I just don't care for abstracts that much. It might be because I'm not smart, but I prefer to think that I just demand more backstory to my games. (It's probably the smart thing.)

Pots

I was the pots. Pot was legal in Mesopotamia apparently.

Either way, we played. This was the third time for us. The first time, the only thing worth remembering was that I won and Workman walked away with a PTSD kind of situation involving the phrase "five blue tiles." In that game, I did nothing to win. Literally nothing. I just placed tiles and collected points. I started no wars and no revolts. And I won.

The second time we played, I did stuff. I warred. I revolted. And I got destroyed. Hmmm. My preferred strategy then is obviously to do nothing. It worked out way better. And requires so much less thought.

Pot doing nothing

Here I am, with my pot, doing nothing. Trying to win that way. Workman's big lion head is causing problems.

I felt kind of lost the whole game. I remembered T&E being super simple, so I didn't review the rules beforehand. And it didn't come back to me all that well. The guys politely kept tweaking my moves....."you know, if you played the leader before the tile, you get a point." I knew I wasn't really in contention to win.

But low and behold, neither was Workman. He couldn't get black tiles. I know this because he only mentioned it 32 times. Every time he pulled tiles out of the bag he dropped the F-bomb and mumbled some shit about black tiles and no chance and blah blah blah. I tried really hard to care. Really.

Stuff

The Tigris. And the Euphrates. And everybody's stuff.

Steve and Leon, however, were getting shit done. They warred and tiled and pointed and made it look easy.

It looked slightly easier for Steve, he won with nine points. And in a bizarre turn of events, Leon and I tied for second with four points each. Workman finished last with two. Two points. It might even have been one. I tried really hard to care. Really.

My sad little collection of points

My sad little collection of points.

A thing I built

Here's this thing I built. It looks impressive, but it mostly just gave Steve points. Fail.

Steve was feeling good after his win. So good, in fact, that he announced not only did he get'er done, but he was "bringing 'get'er done' back." Winning makes a man bold I guess. I wish him nothing but luck with that. Really.

After T&E, we played a new game called HMS Dolores. I had seen the SU&SD review and got a copy for Mother's Day.

Dolores H.M.S box

It's a fun filler. It's set collection, but with a rock-paper-scissors mechanic that lets you negotiate and share with your neighbor, or screw them over. One or the other, never both. Some times you mess up and screw yourself over, but life's all about risk.

Anyway, Dolores (I'll probably always call it Mulva) is a good time. So good we played it twice. Workman won one, then Leon. And Leon screwed me hard the second game. HARD. I don't even think he was sorry.

Love Letter

And no game night is complete without a game of Love Letter. (Sorry Steph.) I won in a three-way cube tie. I love when that happens. My third straight Love Letter win, if you're keeping score at home.

And that was game night. We all won a game, which was a rare (possibly first-time) treat. Also fun was pizza, and stories about bosses collapsing in parking lots, and shopping for wife beaters and biking shorts with Steve. One of those things is an alternative fact. Maybe.

Thanks for reading and happy gaming!