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Ocean's 3

Steve had to choose between priorities this week, and he chose poorly. Leon had similar conflicts, but he opted out of something other than game night. I think we know who the hero of this story is. But I digress.

Left with three, we decided to do something we hadn’t done in a few years. We decided to rob a bank.

Burgle Bros.

I know what you must be thinking. You three? Criminal masterminds? Well, yes. Actually we’re kind of badass.

You may not know it to look at me, but I’m a helluva safe cracker. They call me The Peterman. (Admittedly, I’m not sure why.)

The Peterman

Workman isn’t particularly useful, but he has a pet bird. It’s annoying as hell, flies into your face without warning. It’s nice to have around when you need to distract a guard though. He calls himself the Raven because of it. I hate the Raven. Also, nevermore.

The Raven

And Leon has some mad climbing skillz. He’s like a ring-tailed lemur, that one. They call him The Acrobat on the street. And in various and sundry high, hard-to-reach places. He’s a sight to behold. Plus also, man tights.

Mad climbing skillz

So yeah, we’re actually a crack team of experienced bank robbers. We were ready for the job.

We broke in on the ground floor. I’ve never seen so much security. We stumbled into all kinds of alarms and locked rooms....and wouldn’t you know it, the safe was in the last corner we checked. The Raven cracked the safe while The Acrobat and I hustled upstairs.

The loot

The loot recovered from the first floor safe was a stamp. I wish I was kidding.

On the second floor, I found the safe and cracked it in record time while The Acrobat held open doors for me and kept the guard occupied. This time, our reward for our troubles was a tiara. Very nice! It fit nicely atop my toboggan. Unfortunately, it made me easy for the guards to spot. There’s always a downside. I also picked up a pair of roller skates. It was a pretty weird bank. After a lengthy discussion about the definition of “clockwise”, we made our way to the stairs.

Tiara

Me, my tiara, and my roller skates. Might make a good name for my autobiography.

The second floor stairs opened up into the third floor lavatory. Which was nice, because we got to hide in the stalls, but also sucked because, well, we were in the john. Not ideal.

And the guard on the third floor was a dick. He stayed on us. I fell down a walkway once, which actually helped our situation, but ultimately we decided that the Acrobat and the Raven needed to stay on the first and second floors while I attempted to crack the third floor safe.

The bank, all laid out and askew.

The bank, all laid out and askew.

It took a while. We had to hide behind corners and waste a lot of actions. Patience is a virtue possibly, but eventually it worked. I opened the safe, grabbed the loot (a mirror, wtf is up with this bank?) and headed to the roof. The Raven and the Acrobat followed right behind. The guard saw us all, but we didn’t care. We all had stealth tokens, like the kind you use when robbing banks in real life. (For real, get some of those.)

So yeah, we grabbed the loot and escaped in a helicopter. Pretty badass.

Posing for pics post-robbery. As one does.

Posing for pics post-robbery. As one does.

Oh, I forgot to mention....it was Leon’s night to pick and he wanted to play Burgle Bros..

After the heist, we hid out in a monastery. And played Biblios. I had a good game. I won blue and brown, and in a strange bit of badassery, I won orange with two points. Two. Did you hear that? Two.

Biblios

Two points. Two.

We followed that with a game of Azul. I must have blown all my mojo on the bank heist and the monastery because I put up my worst score in a while: 37. Leon had 43. Workman had 50.

Azul

And then we closed it out with Love Letter. I mostly just got guarded by Workman. And by Leon a couple of times. It was not my best ever Love Letter experience. Workman won that one as well.

And that was game night. Thanks for coming along and please don’t tell the cops.

Happy gaming!