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Hearthstone Should Die of Gonorrhea and Rot in Hell. Cookie?

It was my night to pick, so of course Steve canceled. His wife got tickets to Star Wars, like that’s a big deal. (Steve doesn’t even like Star Wars!) Not that I’m a grudge holder, but this makes the third straight time that 1)It was my pick, 2)I really needed four players, and 3)Steve screwed me.

But Munch saved the day! His wife also had plans, but he wears the pants at his house, she canceled, and he was our fourth. (That’s not exactly what happened, but basically.) And even better, Munch also agreed to join for the pre-game dinner. And even even better better, Steve and fam were at the restaurant! Have you ever run into your ex and you were with someone much smarter and funnier and hotter? Yeah, me neither. I don’t think that ever happens. But this was close! I just wish Steve and fam could have stayed long enough to see us laughing and having great conversation with Munch and not missing Steve at all. But they had to get to the theater. And we didn’t have great conversation. We talked about Hearthstone. And by we, I mean not me. Other than emasculating Workman by opening the Cholula when he couldn’t, I don’t think I participated other than to eat. Workman, Munch, and Leon talked and talked and talked. About Hearthstone. It’s the Monty Python of games.

But that finally ended and we went to Workman’s house and commenced Game Night proper. My pick? Fate of the Elder Gods.

Fate of the Elder Gods box

If you recall, the guys got me this game for my birthday. (Awwwwww. Sentiment.) And we all really enjoyed our first play. Since then, I got the Beasts from Beyond expansion (which is mostly MONSTERS), so we played with that.

Some beasts. From beyond

Some beasts. From beyond.

Another beast

Another beast. From beyond. This one was a deep one.

As much as I enjoyed our first play, this play was way better. There were a lot of things I liked about the game, but the balancing act between winning and losing may have been my favorite, and it was front and center this time around. Workman went all in on summoning points but had some raids go really poorly and ended up with the most elder signs as well. There were three or four rounds in a row when we thought he would end the game, but we weren’t sure if he would win or lose.

Meanwhile, Munch and I were in a tight battle to lose the least. I had no elder signs and two or three summoning points. He had no elder signs and three or four summoning points. But he kept adding elder signs, and then removing them with this ability he had. And he had a gabillion curses. I kept hoping that he would do something to trigger a curse that would stick him with at least one elder sign, and then Workman would trigger the end game by losing. That was my plan.

And it wasn’t a crazy plan either. Workman had curses out the ass as well. Every time he thought he could win it, he triggered a curse and didn’t win. But he also managed to not lose turn after turn. (He is Workman after all.) It was a VERY tight game. His final curse would trigger if he got raided. I wanted him to get raided, but only if Munch had an elder sign. Which he didn’t. And Workman didn’t get raided either. He got four summoning points on one turn (he only needed three) and won. Bastard!

The closest of close games

The closest of close games.

I REALLY like this game. The expansion doesn’t add much mechanically, just monsters (which are summoning spells with minis) and a few new gods (which do monster things). But it’s fine. No reason not to play with it. The game itself is super solid. It has a neat spin on the typical Cthulhu theme, and has such a cool win/lose condition. I hope we play this more.

Afterwards, we played Love Letter. And Hearthstone! Oh, how I love playing games with people staring at their phones. So fun. To be fair, Workman wasn’t playing Hearthstone. He was watching Munch play and reading Reddit. But it was enough to cement my hatred for a game that I’ve never played. Munch won LL after a long, slow, ten-plus round game. I have no idea how their Hearthstone games went. I hope they all lost badly. Laces out.

But hey. You’re paying attention. At least I have that. Thanks for reading and happy gaming!